The goal is not making art. It is living a life. Those who live their lives will leave stuff that is really art.
     – Robert Henri, The Art Spirit.

I recently had the pleasure of seeing a tapestry exhibit called In Our Nature: The Tapestries of Helena Hernmarck.  This Swedish textile artist thinks BIG – her monumental works immerse the viewer in wall-size lush blooms, rich green forest scenes and sunny poppy pastures.  And they take years to complete, often having a team of weavers under her direction.  They were exquisite and works of wonder.

Our lives are woven in the small steps we take each day, each moment.  We have a vision, a design for our life.  Making choices either move us closer or further from that vision.  Let’s say you have a dream to build something, but have no skills to do so.  Instead of relinquishing the dream, you can decide to take a class to learn how to do so.  So you act on this by calling to get information or register for a class or simply speak with someone who already has done what you envision to do.  Like Helena, you hold the largess of the vision while taking the small steps that begin to weave that reality into your life.  You can even gather a team of sorts to support your enacting this vision.  This takes a belief in your vision, courage to step out of your comfort zone, and consistency of action to keep choosing in favor of your dream.

You are weaving a life, one thread, one choice at a time, creating a life as art, in expression of your own spirit…..as they say, a work in progress.  enJOY the journey!

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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.           –Will Rogers

Life coaching encourages action.  After time is spent uncovering and discovering what moves you – passions, purpose, values – and you become aligned with that energy, then it’s time to move into that plan that provides a step by step path to realize your goals.  Your originally designed plan is the place to start, but surely as you move forward, you continue to get new information that will modify your plan over and over, tweaking it to lead you home, so to speak.  And life goes on, even if you stop in your tracks.  An image that resembles this feature would be a car, sitting on the side of the freeway, while others continue on their way.  Maybe you need to pause to recheck your route, but eventually, you must move forward to make it to your destination.

This tiny lesson was brought to me while I was biking one day on a new trail.  I stopped to check the trail map, as the terrain looked like it simply looped back.  The map, of course, was sketchy, and the terrain wasn’t telling; I even asked a pedestrian for clarification, but got no certainty about how to proceed.  Meanwhile, the bicycles were whizzing by me.  So I decided to just bike straight ahead, even if all signs brought uncertainty, and sure enough, just around the bend, the path opened up, as the map had indicated.  My movement forward (on faith or simple investigation of what lies ahead) gave me the information needed to proceed in full commitment once again.

Finding our way takes faith in ourselves and commitment to our goals, along with steady, consistent action, especially if the signs are not clear.  Just keep movin’ – stay in the flow – and the way will continue to show itself to you.

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Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.  Happiness never decreases by being shared.                    Buddha

Well-being is greatly improved with a smile.  First of all, physiologically, it takes less muscle effort to smile than to frown – less drain on your energy reserves.  Secondly, you consciously oppose whatever is leading you towards a negative response – you smile in the face of an adverse situation – you are bigger than what opposes you.  And finally, a smile is a game changer – it becomes contagious to others and at the very least, changes the rules of resistance.

Well-being and healing are generated in a state of relaxation.  It is difficult to frown or hold negativity in a relaxed state.  But choosing to consciously smile when stress weighs you down can be a simple movement towards returning to that state of self-healing. This takes a bit of awareness that you’re leaking energy in negativity, along with an intention to direct your energy in a constructive path.  But the tool is simple:  when you become aware of being stressed or in a negative state, simply take a deep breath and allow yourself to smile.  You can enhance that experience by allowing your smile to send sunshine throughout your entire being, so that this positive energy replaces the unwanted negativity.  And building on this, you can then allow your smile to send this positive energy from your being to others – your energy will not be decreased – in fact, it just may multiply, and return to you.  There is greater chance you’ll receive this warm message from others when you choose to shine the warmth of your being on others.  We all love sunshine more than dark clouds.

Allow yourself to smile – you get to feel good.   Be well!

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Change just keeps happening whether we’re ready for it or not.  And so we must embrace it, for our resistance is simply a delay in our adapting, and eventually brings about more problems by digging in our heels.

I am reading a book about the new learning culture that is needed in our education system.  Our education system was established back when information was more stable; facts were taught that were reliable, and students were expected to learn and repeat that information.  This model is still being used today, but the information that is coming at us and changing the “facts” so quickly does not lend itself to this model.  Students get current information from the internet rather than encyclopedias; students learn more from each other than one teacher or textbook.  So the author was making a case for embracing the technologies that drive learning today and cultivating the collective learning culture.

How does this apply to growing a business?  We must stay in tune with the changing needs of our customers, and be flexible in how we can meet them.  Adapt your delivery to embrace technologies available, such as online trainings, conference call meetings, virtual tours, etc.  What would add to the convenience of your customer to easily receive what you have to offer?  Home delivery, free tutorials, relevant information to their stage of life?  How can you capitalize on the growing social networks that can spread the word about the great business you do?  What can you offer that meets the changing needs of the client right where they are?  How can you support collective learning?

Embracing change means not only being on top of your game, but anticipating how to stay ahead of the game.  Your customer needs you to do this, and your business depends on you doing this. Keep movin’ with the times………..in that constant flow of change.

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The challenge is to find ways to shape your life around the flow of change, the experience of uncertainty, and the advantages of dissolving environments.                                                                                                 Life Launch: A Passionate Guide to the Rest of Your Life – F. Hudson & P. McLean

Making a life of one’s own is a project in and of itself.  Taking responsibility for your life direction amidst the constant change is like sailing your boat; it requires you to keep your hand on the tiller while responding to the winds of change.  Developing a keen eye for wind shifts, currents, other traffic improves your ability to sail more smoothly in that constant flow of change.  The optimum is to be captain of your own ship.

1)What I experience when sailing is that the process is one of relationship- moving my vessel in tandem with the elements, so that we work together rather than in opposition. 2) All the information is available to me as I observe – using that information wisely is the key to smooth sailing. (This is the Life as Teacher part)   3) Leaning into the wind is a way to capitalize on resources available; setting the sails is a way to harmonize these forces for the best outcome.  (This is the Life as Art part)   These are key strategies that I will expound upon in further blog posts.

With this constant change comes the experience of uncertainty.  Even the best laid plans are vulnerable to changing conditions – we just cannot know for sure.  Evenso, having a plan, a vision allows us to be as prepared as we can, with flexibility to tweak it over and over as current conditions present themselves.  We have to hold a vision (Purpose) along with room to alter the exact course to realize it.  The “what” of our vision is open to the “how” of its realization.  The uncertainty can offer opportunities that we could not have foreseen – conditions dissolve and new horizons present new opportunities.

Life as Art asks us to be “Ready – Set – Flow”

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In order for us to move forward, we have to let go of the past. If our thoughts are stuck in what used to be, what is, or what could have been, then we have no room in our head for thoughts of what could be, what we want, or what would bring us happiness.  Malinda Dowsett, Lani Barna, authors of Change Your Conversation, Change Your Life

Changing our story begins with listening to how we tell it, listening to our conversations.  If you notice your language being more on the past than the present, more negative than positive, more about regrets and unfulfilled dreams, then you have an opportunity to choose to script a different story.  Each word you use charts the way for more of that experience.

Healing from past hurts and traumas is part of the healing process towards becoming whole; this is necessary therapeutic work to attaining a sense of self that is held in honor, compassion and positive self-regard.  Changing your story first involves this healing process.   Changing the language can begin to shift the energy as part of this healing journey.

But if you’ve done this work in therapy, and continue to speak in the past framework, it’s like wearing old clothes that you’ve outgrown.  It’s time to update your program to include the new story, with new language, which directs your path to new behaviors. Life coaching draws upon your ability to let go of the past and focus on your becoming.  It holds the premise that you are whole, resourceful and creative, and has you focus on your desire to expand and thrive in the spirit of your unique being.

You can increase your awareness of your language used to describe your experience by simply listening to how your share your day.   As you notice words that hold meaning that no longer resonates with you,  restate any word or phrase with a better choice to tell the story you wish to grow into….word by word…step by step.

For more ideas on stepping into a new story, click here

My last Wellness entry addressed the power of feeling good to nurture positive results.  Today I’ll address the power of seeing good – that is, keeping the mental focus positive.    I have a saying on my desk that states:  Look for bright spots – your life follows your attention.  This is very challenging to do when I’m not feeling particularly good.  And I realize that what and how I think about something is a choice.  Looking at the glass half empty or half full is a common expression used to highlight this choice we have.

Holding a positive vision in spite of external circumstances is like holding the wheel steady when a gust of wind tries to steer you off course.  Leaning into the wind, and using it to remain confident about the outcome you want builds confidence/determination muscles.  Holding fast to your internal compass and the values/beliefs that guide you  keep you on course towards well-being.

A good way to assess how well you see good for yourself is to listen to how you speak about life in your conversations, and in your self- talk.   Your language indicates a positive or negative view.  And choosing to shift a word can make all the difference – it’s like trying on a different pair of shoes , and seeing where they’ll take you.  An example of this could be saying “This is going to be hard to do,” as opposed to saying “This is possible to learn how to do,” or “This is challenging.”  Giving yourself room to learn and grow and expand leaves an opening to move towards what you want in your well-being.

This is the thinking behind use of affirmations.  People tell me it’s difficult to maintain this practice when they don’t believe what they are saying.  So play with the language until you can believe  a small step towards what is possible.  For example, maybe you believe you’ll never get to your healthy weight, but you can believe that you would walk for 20minutes each day.  “I am exercising for my health every day.”  That’s  seeing good  – that holds your course steady as you power it with positive feelings.  Next time we’ll talk about doing good.  In the meantime, be well.

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You know the phrase:   “ I’ll believe it when I see it”?  Well, actually, reversing that phrase is how it really works – I’ll see it when I believe it.  Keeping a vision while having grit to do the work necessary requires a belief in yourself, a commitment, in order to “see it”.  The first phrase requires external evidence first in order to inspire or motivate into action – the second phrase draws upon internal confidence, a knowing that you’ll do what is necessary to realize your vision.  How much do you want your goal to be realized?  How committed are you to take all the small steps that pave the road towards your dream?  How would you rate your grit?   Facing an obstacle is an opportunity to test these features.  It becomes apparent that you can’t just dream about what you want – you must do the work.  Are you all in?

Jonah Lehrer in his book Imagine  says there is an 80%:20% proportion of grit to relaxation.   He was addressing the process of work  – lots of it – to leverage the breakout principle of creativity/imagination:  when you hit a wall in your efforts, you take a break, relax, and allow your right brain to put the missing pieces together towards a resolution that allows you to advance.  He was speaking of how creativity is a series of mental processes.  Creating your business falls under this same guideline.  Lots of grit, demonstrating a commitment to your success, a belief that you will see this vision through towards realization, goes a long way………actually, all the way to success!

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The creative is the place where no one else has ever been.  You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  You can’t get there by bus, only by hard work and risk, and by not quite knowing what you are doing.  What you will discover will be wonderful.  What you discover will be yourself.         Alan Alda

Isn’t this the truth?!  We create  our lives as we go, step by step.  And, more than not, we aren’t led by certainty of knowing, we’re called by our desires or propelled by our passions.  But always, not really knowing where the next step takes us.  So we access and trust our creative nature within to give us a map, and call on our courage to risk taking the next step towards what we desire and envision.

And so much that we don’t know from where we’re standing will unfold as we do take that next step.  Each step offers us a number of ways from which to direct further steps – we make it up as we go – we create as we go.  No mistakes, just learning, and revising the path, until we’re standing in the place we envisioned – we’re embodying our desire.

May you trust to boldly go where no one has gone before!  Towards fully being yourself!

Ready to step more into your becoming?  Click here

Since I hear this question often, I can offer some general distinctions  that may help the decision-making process.  If a person is in survival or recovery, psychotherapy is appropriate.  A client needs support and direction to achieve stabilization and this requires more reliance on a therapist to structure a plan to achieve this.  Often this includes addressing the past history that is impacting their current life.  The client doesn’t yet have the resources developed or in place to function constructively and independently.  After stabilization occurs, a period of recovery time is necessary to integrate and solidify changes that lead to constructive self-care and coping.  Criteria for a mental health diagnosis are presented by the client for health insurance eligibility.

Life coaching  assumes the client is creative, resourceful and whole.  Thus, while they may present a challenge or desired change to address in their life, they are capable of setting and achieving goals, and have self-motivation and insight to identify and follow through with strategies that achieve that outcome.   There is a collaborative relationship with the client rather than a reliant one, and the focus is on the present and moving forward in their life.  Coaching provides a structure in which to gain different perspectives, strategy and accountability towards progress, pleasure and greater life satisfaction.  There is not sufficient criteria for a mental health diagnosis;  coaching is not covered by health insurance.

Life coaching picks up where therapy has met completion, and a person is interested in greater self-development, relying on their inner strengths and resources to continue to enhance their quality of life.

To learn more about life coaching, click here